When challenged to think up a new Christmas carol, Homer instead writes a song about how much he hates Ned Flanders. The song becomes such a hit that the Simpsons become sick of hearing it and take a trip to a dude ranch. Lisa develops affections for a local boy named Luke but becomes jealous when he hears him talking to a girl named Clara on the telephone. One night, she meets Clara and gives her the wrong directions, leading her to become lost. After Lisa discovers that Clara is actually Luke's sister, she rushes to find her. She saves Clara, and decides to tell Luke what happened, but he is offended and dumps her. Meanwhile, Bart and Homer decide to help a tribe of Native Americans who want a beaver dam removed so they can reclaim their land.
The Fishers run into some unexpected guests at an art-school benefit featuring works for sale by Claire, Russell and Olivier. Meanwhile, David and Keith have an awkward video-store meeting with Father Jack, then haggle over the 'rules' of three-way sex with a stranger.
A Rambaldi artifact prophesizes that an apocalyptic event will soon take place, and Dixon's grief leads Vaughn and agency psychologist Dr. Barnett to question his intentions, as his thirst for revenge on Sloane intensifies. Meanwhile Sloane receives a life-changing revelation from a mysterious monk in Nepal, Sydney and Dixon hunt for the killer who stole the heart from his victim.
In order to get close to baby Wyatt, the Crone steals one of the senses from each of The Charmed Ones, in an attempt to fool the child.
Sue goes on an FBI and DEA task force. Has love hit Levi and Sue? Charlie and Troy try to fix something at Lucy and Sue's apartment.
JJ's senior prom is coming up but he's not going because Colleen has made him another offer. Then he hears from Beth. In other prom-related doings, Meg's new friend Carol invites her---but not Roxanne---to a pre-prom sleep-over at her house. Meanwhile, Patty's afraid that no one likes her (there's some reason for this: she has a reputation as being a ""know-it-all""); Natha puts Henry in another delicate situation at the Girard Avenue store; and Jack runs into Professor Witt near the store and senses that there might be something between him and Helen.
Michael and Ben help out a young hustler. Justin begins an internship at Vanguard and a quest to win Brian back. Lindsay is blossoming in her new job at the gallery. Ted reacts to a sudden role-reversal with Emmett.
Two air couriers find themselves caught in a conflict against The Guild, an organization with absolute authority over the skies.
After inadvertently spreading lice to his buddies, a shunned and depressed Bill winds up in jail, where his popularity soars.
Armed with new gadgets and powers, Specs and Trapper try to impress their boss, Alva, by capturing Static.
Imhotep joins forces with Nizam Toth to crush Ardeth Bay and change Alex into their apprentice.
Jack must travel along a water creature, a mountain creature and a flying creature to get to a portal to return home. But once he reaches the portal, it is guarded by an undefeatable warrior who tells him that this portal is not for him.
Craiglang has never had it so good; everyone's suddenly come into money. There's rumours of a money-dealer newly arrived in Craiglang. Even Jack and Victor decide to get in on the action by buying stock market shares from Navid at the corner shop. Winston and Tam renew their feud with the local Neds, and decide the only way to solve things is to challenge them to a championship gold tournament: winner takes course!
When Holly meets Henry's older brother, Noah, she instantly assumes that he and Val would be a great couple. Despite Henry's asking of Holly not to fix them up, Holly fixes Val and Noah up anyway, and eventually finds out why Henry asked for them not to be fixed up.
Dee Dee accidentally breaks down Dexter's lab, and she tries to not and let him know its broken.
A near-death experience causes Reba to put her personal affairs in order and write a will. But when she persuades Cheyenne and Van to do the same, in the interest of naming a legal guardian for Elizabeth if something should happen to them, she soon has regrets when she learns that they have picked Brock and Barbra Jean.
Lily goes on a shopping spree with her ""emergency credit card,"" resulting in her having to pay back the bill by getting a job -- at the bar. Meanwhile, Eddie fumes over a scathing review of the bar; and Henry takes energy preservation to the extreme.
The Yolkians have come to earth, but this time they seek out only peace and brotherhood with the people of Retroville. While Jimmy Neutron suspects the worst, everyone in town is ready to forgive and forget.
John begins to experience an onslaught of bizarre visions and images then blacks out — the visions lead him to a faceless murder victim and a cannery where the Phoenix Organization and the remote viewers were situated. John meets Sam of the NSA (the murdered man is one of Sam's undercover agents) and they manage to capture the Trenchcoat Man and discovers he's not deaf and speaks fluently in Sanskrit and Latin. Trenchcoat hints at John's destiny, how he's one of them, and that Michael (from "Remote Control") may still be alive and a key to the mystery – then he escapes using strange mental abilities of his own. Sam introduces John as a "Class 1" to Lucas Doya, the founder of the U.S.'s own remote viewer program through the DoD — Doya puts John through a series of tests to heighten his own remote abilities and John locks on to Teresa in a copper mine. The NSA, Avery, and Frank close in with John as the remote viewers get a vision of the location of the Staff (from "Ashes to Ashes") in ...